Updated · NextMigrate Team
Bilingual Children: What Really Happens to Kids Who Grow Up Between Two Countries
Imagine you moved from Lagos to Toronto for a safer street and a better school. It worked. Your daughter reads two grades above her level, and her teachers call her gifted.
Then comes the Sunday video call with your mother. Your daughter cannot greet her grandmother properly in Yoruba. Your mother goes quiet. Your daughter looks embarrassed. And after the call, you sit in the kitchen and wonder if you made a terrible mistake.
You did not. But that mix of pride and grief, watching your child rise in one world while slipping in another, is so common that researchers have a name for it: heritage language attrition.
The short answer: Children raised with two languages are not confused and do not fall behind. Any early gap in vocabulary disappears by about age 7-8. The real risk is different: without daily effort, the home language weakens with each generation and is usually close to gone by the third. The strongest protection is simple. Keep speaking it at home, even when your child answers in English, and add grandparents, visits and community. Most children grow into a "both/and" identity, not an "either/or" one.
For the practical side of raising a family abroad, see raising children abroad: Africa vs Europe and moving abroad with family: a checklist. This post covers one thing: language and identity.
What the science says
Two decades of long-term studies, following thousands of children in many countries, keep contradicting the old myths. As of 2026, researchers are also more careful about overstating the benefits.
Myth vs reality
| Common Fear | What Research Shows | Key Studies |
|---|---|---|
| "Bilingual children are confused between languages" | Bilingual children distinguish between languages from birth, adjusting speech to their audience by age 2 | Petitto et al. (2001), Werker & Byers-Heinlein (2008) |
| "Two languages will delay my child's speech" | Bilingual children may have smaller vocabulary in each individual language, but total vocabulary across both languages is equal to or greater than monolinguals | Core et al. (2013), Hoff et al. (2012) |
| "My child will fall behind in school" | Bilingual children match or outperform monolingual peers academically by age 7-8 | Barac & Bialystok (2012), Adesope et al. (2010) |
| "They need to focus on one language to succeed" | Bilingualism provides cognitive advantages including better executive function, attention control, and mental flexibility | Bialystok (2017), Costa & Sebastián-Gallés (2014) |
| "If they mix languages, something is wrong" | Code-switching (mixing languages) is a sophisticated skill, not a sign of confusion. It requires deep knowledge of both languages' grammar | Poplack (1980), Gardner-Chloros (2009) |
When your child mixes Yoruba and English in one sentence, think of a driver changing gears. It is a skill, not a mistake.
The thinking benefits, and the honest caveat
Many studies report a "bilingual advantage" in executive function: working memory, flexible thinking and self-control. But this is debated. Some large repeat studies found smaller or mixed effects, and any benefit probably depends on how much both languages are really used. What is not seriously disputed matters more for you: two languages do no harm, and they do not hold children back.
| Cognitive Skill | Bilingual Advantage | Practical Impact |
|---|---|---|
| Executive function | Stronger attention control, better at ignoring irrelevant information | Better focus in noisy classrooms, better test performance under pressure |
| Metalinguistic awareness | Earlier understanding that language is a system with rules | Faster learning of third/fourth languages, better reading comprehension |
| Cognitive flexibility | Faster switching between tasks and mental frameworks | Better problem-solving, adaptability |
| Theory of mind | Earlier development of understanding others' perspectives | Stronger social skills, empathy |
| Working memory | Greater capacity for holding and manipulating information | Better performance in math and science |
| Delayed cognitive decline | Some studies show dementia symptoms appearing ~4 years later on average (contested) | Possible lifelong neurological protection |
A widely cited study by Bialystok et al. (2007) found that bilingual adults with dementia showed symptoms about four years later on average than similar monolingual adults. Some later studies found the same. Others did not. Treat it as a promising but unsettled bonus, not a promise.
The real risk: losing the home language
Will my child keep my language? Honestly, without deliberate effort, probably not at full strength.
How the language fades across generations
| Generation | Typical Language Profile | Heritage Language Proficiency |
|---|---|---|
| First generation (parent who migrated) | Dominant in heritage language, functional in host country language | Native/near-native |
| 1.5 generation (migrated as child, ages 6-12) | Bilingual, often dominant in host country language by adulthood | Strong conversational, limited academic/formal register |
| Second generation (born in host country) | Dominant in host country language | Conversational (varies widely), limited reading/writing |
| Third generation | Monolingual in host country language | Minimal to none (a few phrases, cultural vocabulary) |
Researchers call this the three-generation shift. It is like a photocopy of a photocopy: each copy is a little fainter. It happens in almost every immigrant community, unless families act on purpose. Many do, and break the pattern.
What keeps the language alive
| Factor | Impact on Heritage Language Retention | Strength of Effect |
|---|---|---|
| Language spoken at home | Strongest single predictor | Very strong |
| Regular visits to home country | Strengthens conversational skills and motivation | Strong |
| Heritage language community (church, cultural centre, weekend school) | Provides peer context for language use | Strong |
| Heritage language media (TV, books, music, social media) | Maintains receptive skills, builds vocabulary | Moderate |
| Grandparent involvement (in-person or video calls) | Creates emotional motivation and conversational necessity | Strong |
| Formal heritage language instruction (Saturday school, tutoring) | Develops literacy and academic register | Moderate to strong |
| Parent attitude (pride vs. shame about heritage language) | Shapes child's motivation to maintain or abandon language | Very strong |
| Community size in host country | More speakers = more contexts for use | Moderate |
The home language matters most. Think of it as a plant you carried to a new country. It can thrive, but only if you water it every day. Families who keep speaking it at home, even when the children reply in English, tend to raise adults who can still hold a conversation in it. A nearby diaspora helps too. Our guide on how diaspora communities work explains why.
How different countries support home languages
| Country | Heritage Language Programs in Public Schools | Multicultural Education Policy | Community Language Schools (government funded) | Interpreter Services (public) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Canada | Yes (Heritage Language Programs in Ontario, Alberta, others) | Official multiculturalism policy since 1988 | Partial funding in some provinces | Extensive |
| Australia | Yes (community language schools, some in-school programs) | Multicultural policy | State-funded in most states | Extensive |
| UK | Limited (some supplementary schools) | Informal multiculturalism | Minimal government funding | Available via NHS and councils |
| Germany | Yes (Herkunftssprachlicher Unterricht in most states) | Integration-focused (growing multicultural elements) | Partial funding | Available |
| New Zealand | Yes (especially for Maori; growing for immigrant languages) | Bicultural foundation expanding to multicultural | Limited | Available |
| UAE | Arabic instruction mandatory; some schools offer heritage languages | Tolerant of multilingualism | Private | Limited |
Canada: the strongest support
Canada's official English-French bilingualism makes it broadly friendly to other languages too. See our guides to migrating to Canada and settling in Canada: the first year.
Ontario's International Languages programs (the International and Indigenous Languages Elementary program, and credit courses in secondary school) teach dozens of heritage languages through public school boards. These often include:
- Yoruba, Igbo and other West African languages (depending on the board and demand)
- Hindi, Urdu, Tamil, Punjabi and Bengali
- Tagalog
- Arabic
A board usually opens a class only if enough families ask. Classes run on weekday evenings or weekends, free or heavily subsidised. Tens of thousands of students take part across Ontario each year. Alberta and British Columbia also support heritage languages through school districts and community partners, though offerings differ by district.
Australia: strong, less formal
Tens of thousands of students attend community weekend language schools, studying languages from Amharic to Vietnamese, with varying state funding. The Australian Curriculum treats languages as a learning area. Senior certificates such as the NSW HSC and Victorian VCE offer exams in languages including Hindi, Arabic and Tagalog. So your child can earn school credit for the language you speak at home, though the languages vary by state and year. See our guide to migrating to Australia.
Germany: a system in transition
Most states offer Herkunftssprachlicher Unterricht (heritage language classes) in Turkish, Arabic, Russian, Greek, Italian, Portuguese and others. Yoruba, Igbo, Tagalog or Urdu depend on the city. The system has long put German first, but that is shifting, especially in Berlin, Hamburg and Munich.
Not sure which country you’d qualify for?
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Free eligibility check →The identity question
Beyond language, you may wonder: will my child feel Nigerian, Indian or Filipino? Or something in between, not fully at home anywhere?
Research on Third Culture Kids (TCKs), children who spend key years in a culture different from their parents', gives both comfort and honest complexity. Our post on Third Culture Kids: growing up between cultures goes deeper.
| Outcome | Research Finding | Nuance |
|---|---|---|
| Cultural identity | Most TCKs develop a "both/and" rather than "either/or" identity | May feel different from both home and host culture peers |
| Adaptability | Higher than average cross-cultural adaptability | Can mask identity uncertainty behind social skill |
| Academic performance | Equal to or higher than monoculturally raised peers | Especially in international or multicultural school environments |
| Career outcomes | Higher than average, especially in international fields | Advantage in globalized job market |
| Sense of belonging | Often complex; "everywhere and nowhere" | Strongest when connected to a community of fellow TCKs |
| Mental health | Mixed; some studies show higher resilience, others show higher rates of anxiety/depression during adolescence | Depends heavily on family support and school environment |
| Relational depth | Tend to form deep, meaningful friendships | But may struggle with feeling "rootless" |
What often happens at each age
Ages 0-5. Children take in both cultures easily. This is usually the easiest stage.
Ages 6-11. The first friction. Your child notices the different lunchbox, the different name, the different language at home. Some embrace it. Others want to fit in. Home-language use often drops sharply now. Picture your seven-year-old saying they will not speak Tagalog any more because classmates think it is weird. Keep speaking it at home without turning it into a battle, because pressure and punishment tend to backfire. Many children come back to it as teenagers.
Ages 12-17. Identity becomes central. Some teens lean hard into their heritage, some reject it, and many swing between the two. This is normal, even when it hurts to watch. Research by Jean Phinney (2003) found that teens who actively explore their ethnic identity, asking questions and engaging with their heritage, develop stronger identity, higher self-esteem and better school results than those who passively absorb or reject it.
Ages 18-25. Most settle into a hybrid identity they carry with pride. Not Nigerian or Canadian, but Nigerian-Canadian.
Second-generation outcomes
These figures are illustrative, drawn from census and large survey data (Statistics Canada, the Australian Bureau of Statistics and German integration surveys) up to the mid-2020s. Treat them as rough orders of size, not exact current-year statistics, because definitions differ between countries.
| Metric | Children of Immigrants (Canada) | Children of Immigrants (Australia) | Children of Immigrants (Germany) | General Population |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| University completion rate | 41% | 38% | 29% (improving) | 33% (Canada), 34% (Australia), 33% (Germany) |
| Median household income (age 30-40) | 105% of national median | 103% of national median | 92% of national median | 100% (baseline) |
| Self-reported cultural pride | 78% report "strong connection to heritage culture" | 72% | 65% | N/A |
| Self-reported belonging | 82% feel "strong sense of belonging in [host country]" | 79% | 71% | 85% (Canada), 81% (Australia), 78% (Germany) |
| Multilingual proficiency | 68% speak heritage language "well" or "very well" | 55% | 52% | N/A |
In Canada and Australia, children of immigrants are more likely to finish university than the general population, match or beat them on income, and report both heritage pride and belonging. Germany's numbers are lower, reflecting its recent shift from a guest-worker model, but the trend is positive, especially for families who arrived from the 2000s onward.
What actually works at home
One parent, one language (OPOL)
Each parent always speaks one language to the child. If one parent speaks Yoruba and the other Igbo, each sticks to theirs, and the child learns English at school. This can produce strong bilingual results, but only with consistency and enough real use of each language.
Home language at home
Both parents speak the home language at home, and school supplies the rest. This is the most common approach when parents share a language.
Community support
| Activity | Time Investment | Impact on Heritage Language | Additional Benefits |
|---|---|---|---|
| Heritage language Saturday school | 2-4 hours/week | High (develops literacy) | Peer community, cultural exposure |
| Video calls with grandparents/family (in heritage language) | 3-5 hours/week | High (conversational skills, emotional motivation) | Family bonds, cultural knowledge |
| Heritage language media (TV shows, YouTube, music) | 5-10 hours/week (background + active) | Moderate (receptive skills, vocabulary) | Cultural familiarity, entertainment |
| Heritage language books (read-aloud for young children) | 15-30 min/day | High (literacy, vocabulary, bonding) | Reading habits, parent-child connection |
| Cultural community events (church, temple, mosque, cultural festivals) | Monthly or more | Moderate (social context for language use) | Sense of belonging, cultural identity |
| Summer visits to home country | 2-6 weeks/year | Very high (immersive, resets language skills) | Family connection, cultural grounding |
What does not work
| Common Approach | Why It Fails |
|---|---|
| Forcing the heritage language while punishing use of English | Creates negative associations with heritage language; child resists |
| Criticizing the child's accent or grammar in heritage language | Increases anxiety, reduces willingness to speak |
| Waiting until the child is "older" to introduce heritage language | The critical period for language acquisition is 0-7; later introduction is much harder |
| Relying entirely on school to teach heritage language | School provides exposure, not fluency; home is the primary language environment |
| Only speaking heritage language during discipline ("stop that!" in Yoruba) | Child associates heritage language exclusively with being scolded |
That last one is worth a moment. If the only Yoruba your child hears is "stop that!", what will they feel about Yoruba at fifteen?
Will my child lose our culture?
Honestly, some shift is certain. A child raised in Toronto will not live Nigerian culture the way a child in Lagos does. A child in Melbourne will not live Indian culture the way a child in Mumbai does. But different is not the same as lost.
| Cultural Dimension | What Shifts | What Can Be Maintained | What Is Gained |
|---|---|---|---|
| Language | Dominance shifts to host country language | Conversational heritage language (with effort) | Multilingual ability, cognitive advantages |
| Food and cuisine | Expanded palate, less daily exposure to heritage food | Home cooking, heritage food community | Broader culinary knowledge, nutritional diversity |
| Religious/spiritual practice | May encounter different norms around religious expression | Diaspora religious communities are often vibrant | Interfaith understanding, personal choice |
| Family structure | Less daily contact with extended family | Technology enables constant connection; values persist | Independence, nuclear family bonding |
| Cultural values (respect for elders, community, etc.) | May evolve or merge with host culture values | Core values transmitted through family, not geography | Broader ethical framework, adaptability |
| Music, art, stories | Less immersive exposure | Diaspora arts communities, digital access to heritage media | Exposure to multiple artistic traditions |
| Sense of belonging | More complex, dual identity | Both home and host country belonging possible | Belonging in multiple communities |
Your values travel through you, not through a postcode.
The money side of two languages
The premiums below are rough ranges. They vary by field, seniority and region. They are strongest where the second language is directly useful (customer-facing roles, healthcare, government, translation, international business) and close to zero where it is not. Read them as "up to", not guaranteed.
| Country | Language Combination | Approximate Salary Premium |
|---|---|---|
| Canada | English + French | 5-15% |
| Canada | English + Mandarin | 7-12% |
| Canada | English + Hindi/Urdu/Punjabi | 4-8% (growing in key sectors) |
| Australia | English + Mandarin | 8-15% |
| Australia | English + Arabic | 5-10% (healthcare, government, social services) |
| UK | English + Arabic | 10-20% (finance, diplomacy, security) |
| Germany | German + English + third language | 8-18% |
| UAE | English + Arabic | 15-30% |
| USA | English + Spanish | 5-20% (depends on field/region) |
A child in Canada with English and Yoruba who learns French at school enters the job market with three languages.
What this means for you as a worried parent
- Your child will not be confused. Mixing two languages in a sentence is a skill.
- Your child will not fall behind. Early gaps disappear by about age 7-8, and bilingual children match monolingual peers at school.
- Two languages will not harm your child's thinking. Over 100 studies have looked at this. Most find benefits for attention and flexible thinking, though the size of the benefit is still debated, and protection against decline in old age is not settled.
- Your child will have a layered identity. Often uncomfortable in the teens, it often brings adaptability and empathy later.
- Keeping the language takes effort, but it works. Speak it at home, find community, keep grandparents close, and give some structure.
- What you fear is change, not total loss. Your child's version of your culture will be different from yours. It will not be less real.
Go back to that video call. Your daughter may not greet her grandmother perfectly yet. But she can still learn, and you are the one who can teach her. That is the gift and the work of growing up between two countries.
Frequently asked questions
Will speaking two languages at home delay my child's speech?
Not overall. A bilingual child may know fewer words in each language at first, but their total vocabulary across both is equal to or larger than a monolingual child's. Any early gap usually disappears by age 7-8.
Should I stop speaking my language so my child learns English faster?
No. School and friends will give your child the majority language. The language spoken at home is the strongest single predictor of keeping the heritage language. Keep using it, even when your child answers in English.
My child refuses to speak our language. What should I do?
This is common between ages 6 and 11, when children want to fit in. Keep speaking it at home without punishment or criticism of their accent. Make it fun through grandparents, books, music and visits. Many children come back to it as teenagers.
Which country is best for keeping a heritage language?
Canada has the strongest support, with official multiculturalism since 1988 and Ontario's International Languages programs in dozens of languages. Australia's community language schools are also strong. In the UK, support is mostly through supplementary schools with little government funding.
Is it too late if my child is already 10?
No, but it is harder. The easiest years for picking up a language are 0-7. After that, structured help such as Saturday school, tutoring and longer summer visits matters more. Visits of 2-6 weeks a year can give a big boost.
This article is general information, not professional advice. Research findings are summarised and debated. Talk to a speech and language professional if you have concerns about your child's development.
